Wednesday, January 26, 2011



Twinkle twinkle little star
Ask I must, how very far


A garden of mine abound with flowers and trees
Where butterflies dance and has loads of bees.
Sitting amidst them , questions arise within me
For answers I have none but loads of curiosity.

Gazing at the stars after watching the sun depart
Light that falls on me is a million light years apart
You seem to be so peaceful , Content within your constellation
Held in unison I want this for my nation.

You are Andromeda the princess , Hercules a warrior and Draco the dragon
I so mighty envy at the pattern of this human creation
You change color like us in the background of Heaven’s play
Glimpses of yellow from my earth and white from far far away
We change sides and color as time passes and winds sway
Love the ones nearby but hatred for the ones across the bay.

Our words at times are like stones from the heaven hurled
That can pierce every part and hurt every soul
Nothing then would be left in this mighty world
Only Bitterness and the feeling of being raked over coal.

The ones we lose, we see them in the sky
Sitting in this garden of nature’s creation and watch time fly
Lyra, Cygnus Orion , Hercules and the mighty Cassiopeia
When would we love each other and have a world of utopia!

Friday, April 30, 2010

He's MY HERO

Last sat April 24th was kinda special . It was the birthday of two great ‘legends’ – Sachin and the local hero here in Bangalore called Dr. RajKumar. Both are supposedly ‘ heroes’ in their own rights….. I sometimes wonder what is it that makes a simple actor “a hero” for us Indians.
The starting scene from Slumdog Millionaire where the kid fanatically takes Amitabh’s autograph comes to my mind when I think of “ hero worship”. A population of over a billion people, a million plus demigods to worship, over a couple of thousand languages spoken in a land that is supposed to have been one of the oldest civilizations known to mankind. Earlier , heroes used to be gods or characters from ancient texts. We had Chanakya for his wisdom, Krishna for his romance, Ram for his loyalty and justice, Ekalavya for his dedication and focus, Karna for his sacrifice and so on… I sometimes get so convinced that its because of these reasons , that Hinduism as a religion is not monotheistic. We are a pluralistic society and one of the most democratic religions but how is that something so virtual, most of the time unbelievable ( heroes jumping over skyscrapers or taking bullets through their body like some paintball game or breaking prison door chains when wanting to escape ) that when we meet them in real life, we are so in awe of the person in front and truly almost believe that the character we see on screen is the same multifaceted person in real life and go all gungho and crazy.

Looking at ourselves and the daily struggle an average Indian goes through, at the end of the day he really needs someone who can look at things and solve it for him. Look at the issues that surround us. We want Clean water to drink, continuous power supply, good roads to drive, good food to consume, safe and secure environment and good night’s sleep and somehow, with the burgeoning population, it seems very surreal to satisfy all these needs. So ,we turn our attention to something that gives us all this. Books, religion and movies. We are not a very book loving country, though books have some of the most imaginative narratives, I think we Indians are a lethargic lot and believe in visual depiction. We have a very vivid imagination that comes across through folklore, martial arts , paintings, stories that actually got passed on through streetplays, dance, musicals and puppetry . For today’s urban generation , the easiest quickfix solution is Movies .

Our directors take us through the plushest of landscapes ( Yash Chopra movies ), grittiest of crimes ( RGV productions ) , overpowered super emotions ( the KJo kind of sagas ) or the ambitious students ( Aamir in 3 idiots ) . They give us actors who can can beat the bad guys up, someone who can build an utopic world for us to believe that it is possible. I have no element of doubt in the optimism of their stories , but I guess with the number of movies that we get exposed to , we start believing that the person behind the screen is actually capable of doing what is visible to us… Our mind makes us false believe that the actors are the heroes in real life and then get obsessed with them. I aint saying that it is not common in the west, but the limits to which we Indians do is far beyond any rationale.

We have titles such as Power Star Punnet, Rebel star Ambarish , Realstar Upendra given to heroes in Karnataka ; We have temples for Jayalalita, Khushboo in Tamil Nadu, fans do milk abhisheks ( ceremonies ) for the movie stars , some even commit suicide and burn themselves when actors die. And then there are memorials built, roads renamed and anniversaries celebrated long after they are gone into oblivion all from taxpayers money . Do they really deserve so much attention ?? I really wonder…

First of all, if you cut out the strut and the hype, they are not what they appear to be. They’ d probably be weaker than the guy who doesn’t even have a roof and sleeps on the road. They are guys who enact roles, slip in and out of characters written for them by others, directed by others, for vast sums of money risked by others. So how do they become heroes. I think Real heroes are very different . Real heroes are like the the tea boy in Mehboob Studio. He’s no longer a boy. He’s 57 years old but is still hanging around waiting for that singing break he had come to Mumbai for 40 years ago. Talk to the models in tiny dorms in Andheri, sharing their beds in 8 hour shifts, looking for work. They are brimming with hopes and dreams even when their lives are full of failure and disappointment. But they soldier on bravely, like the bar girls from Bengal who are still waiting for their clients to get them the film roles they had promised years ago. Their jobs are outlawed. The police harass them. Landlords throw them out when they hear of what they do, neighbours call them filthy names. But they don’t give up. Their dreams, ambitions, hopes keep them going, fearlessly. Each and every one of us is a hero in our own respect and its time to look around for ppl around us who go about doing deeds that go unnoticed. They are true BraveHearts. They lose every day and yet return to battle next morning. The auto driver from Saharanpur. The zari worker from Birbhum. The daily wage construction labourer from Salem who builds skyscrapers without wearing a harness. The farmer from Vidharba desperately seeking a job, any job. The college student from Meerut. What about the soldiers who guard us against foreign intrusion, some of them lose their lives to protect us. The banker, the stock broker, the white collar executive, the reality show contestant, the writer, the painter, the street dancer and not some person we see on screen for 2 hrs .
Its time to wake up !

Saturday, April 24, 2010

losing my religion

Hey you, out there in the cold...Getting lonely, getting old....The other nite i was listening to one of my fav songs by REM " Losing my religion", and couldnt help thinking about it over and over again...I have this one question which i always find tough to answer : Why do preachers of religion .. Pandits, Mullahs or the Priests talk about one religion being supreme over the other..jingoism or whatever u may choose to call it .. . Religious fanatcism .I fail to understand this weird logic of rating things... religion.. castes... even education is rated. Why is something compared to the other. why cant things be considered in parallel.. why arent religions equal.? Why should someone choose wife over parents or vice versa?Why do some ppl say .. our religion is the greatest in the world??.. After all religion is a means to the end- Moksha.. Why arent professional choices equal? Just because this society may not pay some professions well enough , that doesnt make it any lower in quality... More often than not... Why is it that the respect we give to a person who serves food at a restaurant more than say a rickshaw guy we meet down the street? Arent they just 2 professionals who are offering a service for which we pay and just because we pay someone more doesn't mean that he deserves any more respect...I come from bangalore and have grown up with some teachers widely almost convincing students to take up only science post 10th and that commerce and arts is for lower mortals.. u should see the expression change to a frown on ppl's faces when u tell that my son or daughter is doing arts /commerce a few years ago... almost like this guy defy dint have anything better in life to do ..hence he must have taken this up... ..esp a place in bangalore which has more than 40 engg colleges in the city alone and over a 100 colleges across the state.. Times are different. now .Thanks to alternative careers and mba as well where both compete on equal grounds.. i am waiting for the day when i would fill edu/ professional forms which will not have religion or caste to be mentioned..Last summer i visited my parents village after a gap of 4 years , in northern karanataka, and as i walked through it during the evening, i was impressed to find a new village school close by to the old one...On enquiring i was shocked to find found that this school was completely only for the scheduled caste/ ST because the higher caste ppl dint want their children to study with students from a lower caste..This is as recent as 2008... Even the free food served in the afternoon is different .. As i strolled towards the outskirts of the village i realised to still see the divide so apparant ... The wells are different... water pumps are different... what a contrast.. .the water underneath comes from the same spring source.... When will we ever get ourselves free from this bias ?Now, back to religion.. at this point of time, i cant help but write about 2-2 ( 2 couples ) of my best friends going through the toughest time trying to convince their parents to allow for inter religion marriages...I would also like to bringforth this point here that from both sides ( religions ) neither of them are asking for conversion, but even then parents just dont want to give in . It's reached a phase where blackmailing has taken new forms like not eating food despite being diabetic..etc? Why should children choose parents over girl or vice versa?. Dont we know that both are more than important ? What is it about accepting another faith which is so tough ? We may be living in the times of Apple i-phone but i guess the apple still hasnt struck our heads and made us change our beliefs ?Lastly.....all i wanna say...
Take me to the magic of the moment
On a glory nightWhere the children of tomorrow share their dreams
With you and me

Take me to the magic of the momentOn a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

in the wind of change

Let music be the food of love

Not long ago, i was listening to 'Rockstar ' by Nickelback .....I want a new tour bus full of old guitarsMy star on Hollywood BoulevardSomewhere between Cher and James Dean is fine for meI'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fameI'd even cut my hair and change my name'Cause we all just wanna be big rock starsAnd live in hilltop houses driving fifteen carsFrom the early pop days of the boybands - Boyzone, Backstreet Boys , to Rockstars.. Bonjovi, Deflepard, Led Zepplen, Aerosmith..Kurt Cobain...the list goes on and on... i think my teenage and college years would have been incomplete had rock n roll not been a part of the monotonuos life that we all have..From just being musicians , they turn out to be our inspiration and we just can't get enough of them... Movies definitely are another alternative but music is the most personal thing which comes back to us like a flashback when we are alone or doing something, and hits our souls and may be rests there for us to ponder and wonder.. It raises questions about society ( Billy Joel- We din't start the fire- this song is taught in schools as the lyrics covers major world events ) Love ( Bryan Adams- Everything i do..).. politics ( Scorpions- Winds of Change ) Education ( FLoyd - We dont need no education ) places ( Beatles- In my life ) Teenage love ( Meatloaf- paradise by the dashboard light ) to name some ...“IF MUSIC be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it.” And if not? Well, what exactly is it for? The production and consumption of music is a big part of our society. The first use to which commercial recording, in the form of Edison’s phonographs, was to bring music to the living rooms and picnic tables of those who could not afford to pay live musicians. Today, people are so surrounded by other people’s music that they take it for granted, but as little as a century ago singsongs at home, the choir in the church and fiddlers in the pub were all that most people heard.The evolution of Rock music is as wonderful and here are some of the types : Acid rock ,Afro-punk ,Alternative metalAlternative rock ,Black metal , death metal ,Blues-rock,Bubblegum pop , Classic rock ( my fav ),Classic metal ,Electronic rock ,Folk-rock ( OST -Juno ), Folk metal , progressive rock , psychedelic ( Floyd ... ) and many more such forms... The more gory the name sounds, the more heavier the music would sound..and the tougher the lyrics are to decipher.. The videos do seem violent , but the irony in these forms of music is that the lyrics are so brilliant and you really have to pay attention to it...Bangalore has always been far far ahead in the varied taste of music that people listen and i think the first big OD ( overdose.. of music obviously.. what did u think ? lol) of real rock music has to be Strawberry Fields hosted by NLS , Bangalore. Its like a mini Woodstock festival and its 3 days of non stop music and culminates with the best 6 bands fighting for the best rock group .. It's one fest which any rock fan cannot miss .Now when i retrospect at the college days being a rock music follower makes u do stuff like u are a part of a big cult..In the 70's they would may be use " Hiippies.... but in 2k parents would think of us as weirdos and given up all hope on us....and we would think of it as all being part of "being cool "....During College, my friends had a band named " misanthrophilix "..i guess rock n roll has this innate ability to make u sound like a rebel and try to be different and so the inspiration behind this name.. the heavy metal tshirts.. from SCORPIONS, ACDC, IRON MAIDEN. to SEPULTURA, .long hair.. headbanging at midnight.....It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them... It's almost like the smokers fraternity... ( Have you never noticed the bonding among smokers and how they would exchange lights or lighters without even signalling or asking for it day after day... ) and before you start judging about my smoking habits , let me make myself clear that i am always in the company of smokers and i do not smoke..Around 40% of the lyrics of popular songs speak of romance, sexual relationships and sexual behaviour. The Shakespearean theory, that music is at least one of the foods of love, has a strong claim to be true. The more mellifluous the singer, the more dexterous the harpist, the more mates he attracts.Another reason to believe the food-of-love hypothesis is that music fulfils the main criterion of a sexually selected feature: it is an honest signal of underlying fitness. Just as unfit peacocks cannot grow splendid tails, so unfit people cannot sing well, dance well (for singing and dancing go together, as it were, like a horse and carriage) or play music well. All of these activities require physical fitness and dexterity. Composing music requires creativity and mental agility. Put all of these things together and you have a desirable mate.... Have anyone of you ever seen Joe Satrian and Steve Vai perform on stage.. These musicians literally make love to their guitars and the expressions are no less than an Orgasm...It has been rightly said " Singing is auditory masturbation to satisfy this craving. Playing musical instruments is auditory pornography. Both sate an appetite that is there beyond its strict biological need."......

Rock on!

Dude, where's my Azaadi

Azaadi.. azaadi... azaadi man ki... Azaadi. mere pehchaan ki jo shayad gumnaam hai.. azaadi mere khayalon ki, azaadi mere is zubaan ki.. azaadi ek chotti si aasha ki jo dil mein hi kahin kho gayi hai .... azaadi bas ek muskurahat ki us gareeb ke chehri par , jisko abhi tak yeh maloom nahin hai ki 15 aug ko hum kyun manate hain.. shayaad azaadi ka matlab kahin kho gaya hai ..
As a child , i remember this day as a one of those weird days my dad waking me up early despite it being a holiday to go attend our colony " flag hoisting " ceremony and i would crib, get ready and then innocently would go there only for one reason " laddoo" .. Yes, all of us would get one nice big laddoo at the end of the hoist .. That's the only thing i would be interested in and spend the rest of the day playing while my dad would religiously sit and watch our PM give his speech and take us out later.
As i retrospect this day and wonder why "we" celebrate it..this day brings out more cynicism in me than the rest.. i wonder is it the stark reality that is hitting me on my face on the things that are happening around .. its been 60 plus years , almost a person's lifetime and we would in probably 20 years have no more people from that generation, but i want to think what really does azaadi mean to me. Has azaadi lost its true meaning somewhere, or is it lying somewhere waiting to be awakened ...
"azaadi diwas" being celebrated bcoz of the british left us this country to be run by our people , the very same people who had fought using satyagraha , stayed at kalapaani, walked the Dandi March , dreamt the Indian dream that one day their children would wake up in a motherland that symbolizes " the origin of civilization " , free from exploitation of self, our motherlands resources, free to make our people self reliant , free to be one among the worlds best.. Are we there ?? I don't think so... somewhere something has gone wrong....
Freedom by pure virtue of being freed by british is so cliche. For me, it is to be free from the prejudices that have existed before and is so rampant even today...i yearn to wake up to stay, respond and expand and include and allow and forgive and enjoy and evolve and discern and inquire and accept and admit and divulge and open and reach out and speak up.. Freedom reaches a new high when the weakest voice is heard by the affluent lot and something is done about it to help him...It means the day women in my motherland feel " safe " and free as men are and don't have to worry about how late it is to party and they shouldnt be out for so long.
Freedom is when winning oscars by India is a habit, Freedom is when our sports boards are not run by politicians but when we perform as good as China or Russia do in the olympics... freedom is when talent from so many parts of india does not go waste.. It means correcting and negating the very thought that " being fairer is more pretty "...
Freedom is breaking the North-south divide and we accepting ourselves as Indians first... When i care for the city that i live in, the air that i breathe, the difference i make in the way i can live in harmony with my environment, i would be freee.. , It is when we would share and listen and support and welcome, be propelled by passion not invest in outcomes,when we would breathe and be charmed and amused by difference , be gentle and make room for every emotion of people around us.
This song definitely echoes in my thoughts ....
The world is closing inDid you ever think That we could be so close, like brothersThe future's in the air, I can feel it everywhereBlowing with the wind of change
Take me to the magic of the moment.On a glory nightWhere the children of tomorrow dream awayin the wind of change

Are you missing the beat?

Are You missing the beat ?
Hey You ! What shall I say?Is it the mask on me or the world’s pretence for here to stay,
The world around me has turned up the heat.
Am I trying to jump the gun, or is someone missing the beat?
Precious illusions that shaped my dreams as a kid,
Bidding farewell to them is the hardest thing I ever did,
Parting with them is like parting with invisible best friends
Who kept you safe, who made you secretly smile
A reason to live and make the short step you take worthwhile
Are you missing the beat or am I just out of tune?
I spent so long looking outward
Living minutes trying to overcome the stoic squirm inside
Like a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
Or a dead salmon frozen in a waterfall.
Are you missing the beat or am I just out of tune?
But Now,
Let me be myself, let me live my way,
Breathe every moment on an open highway,
I want surreal to come true; how , I have no clue;
All I know is that I’ll sing a song of triumph, do a little jig in the rain,
To bring upon a smile and wash away the pain.
The journey is worth it and so you are You
Dance to the music of life and then bid adieu!

The Lost Cocoon

Cheese, Click, post, tweet.
Cheese, Click , post and again tweet.
Newsfeeds, Unknown requests storm me like a ghost,
Friendship shrunk to the size of a wall post,
People farming, mafia war fighting,
Challenging words, have no idea what am doing .

I hear a cacophony of buzzes,
Continuous beeps in bitter sweet symphony;
Words, playing me déjà vu
Like a radio tune I swear I've heard before;
Miss my darkness, immaculate dreams,
And the empty space beneath.
Where is the silence, where is my remorse.

Tired of being a social animal,
Bored at my comp in the imaginative presence of others,
Friends with everyone, Forgetting how to be friends with anyone.
Peace of my mind that’s in bits and pieces.
My attention span finally ceases.


I want to lurk around my mental space that ain’t social ,
Frisk a mobile that doesn’t create my celebrity,
Write on a lappie that doesn’t connect me.
Am substantial by myself ,
In the cocoon of my solitude.